Beginnings and Endings

Sun May 16

No longer just the old maid

I sometimes feel like the old maid when it comes to all my friends back home. Most of them are either married, have kids, or both. I feel a certain pressure to find someone and settle down. In the last year or so though, that’s become much less of a factor for me. Throughout college I had a different take on things. If I had seen a facebook group like “All my friends are getting married and having kids, but I’m just getting drunk” I would have thought it was in poor taste, maybe even offensive. Now, I find it hilarious!


I’m not ready to get married. I’m not ready to settle down and play the part of a “real” grown-up. Don’t get me wrong, I take my job very seriously. I am very much looking forward to the next step in my career, but I need to make sure I’ve done that before I get too serious with anyone.


What has me thinking about all this right now? One of my best friends growing up recently got divorced. Another, who just finished building her house with her fiancée and was set to get married next Saturday, just announced that the wedding is off.


The pressure to get married is just too much. There are some people who really luck up and find the person they’ll be happy with for the rest of their life while they’re still young. My parents, for example, got married when my father was 17 and my mother was 19. This June will make 32 years that they’ve been married. My brother and his wife got married just a couple of years out of high school and they’ve been married for more than 6 years. That, I’ve come to realize, is rare. I have to keep that in mind the next time I’m feeling mopey about not being married, or in a serious relationship that will lead to such.


The pressure to get married is just too much…